This feeling is so familiar

So, here it comes again, this feeling I feel every summer... It's so distictive. It's just loneliness.


There was a time when I didn't get that up here. In fact the cottage used to be the only place I had a solid group of friends. That ended 5 years ago though. It's so ridiculous and it sucks so much. My best summer ever was when I was 13 years old, crushing on a guy named Al and best friends with a girl who was the biggest flirt I knew. Nicks and I were the only girls and there was 3 or 4 other guys. Dusty, Nick and Al were usually around but Dan, Matt and Jeff came and went. We would have such a blast, Nick and Dusty both had tin boats with 9.9's and we'd boat around and push each other off docks and flirt and laugh. We'd go up to the ridge, have bon fires, prank call each other. It was always so much fun. Nicky's parents got two jet skis and we'd go tubing behind them. She and I had the best record, we very rarely fell off. It was great. And you know what made it all go downhill? A guy. It's bloody pathetic. He was from around here, so I asked Nicky if she knew him. She did and gave me the run down - which I didn't want to hear, only because it was all so negative. We had a fight, it was so horrible. It was May 24 and we were at Al's for fireworks. I got upset and walked into the forest (on my way home). Then I changed my mind and went back, when she saw I was back she muttered "oh so predictable." So I left again. This time I walked the 20 minute walk through the woods in the dark home. I cried the whole way.

My parents got fed up with her, we were always fighting. So they told me they'd had it with the friendship. I was 14 - what was I to say. My parents controlled me. And that was that, I lost my best friend of 12 years.

You know what happened with the guy? He cheated on me. He was a fucking creep - and she was right. All he wanted to do was have sex with me and she had called it. So then I was left with no bestfriend or boyfriend. I hate seeing friendships get messed up on account of a new love interest, the more I think about it the more I don't understand it.

The whole point was to state how lonely I am up here! I got sidetracked, I miss my friends in Oakville, I miss my friends at Trent and I miss the people who used to be my friends here.