Everything is golden

It's so easy to just sink into the feeling sorry for yourself vibe. It's so common, especially for me anytime something doesn't feel right I think about how crappy things are. Sure, things are crappy, life's not perfect...but if I didn't have to deal with all this crap I wouldn't be the person who I am now. And I think I like who I am. I'm not going to lie about stuff, ya, there are crappy, crappy aspects, but there is SO much I have to be greatful for. I've got to learn to look past it, even look past people's flaws. So I'm going to focus on me for a second, I would say I'm pretty accomplished, not compared to some people, but for me I'm proud of what I've done.

I was in a choir for 5 years, I even went to Europe on a tour. I've sung in ISMF numerous times, sung in Roy Thomas Hall. I'm qualified to be a swimming instructor, and I've taught in pools and lakes. I have my NLS, I've lifegaurded regatta's, public swims, pool parties. I've been on a softball team and tennis team (though I totally sucked on both). I got into University without the back up of a private school, then I got into an AMAZING program. I'm going to be doing placements in public schools within the next 2 months. I found an amazing roomate and awesome apartment. I survived my first year of University. I'm pretty accomplished. I think so anyway. So why do I waste time sulking over the fact that a guy didn't like me for me? Or that my mother thinks I'm fat? It's so stupid, I should just let myself live.

There is SO much more that I want to accomplish. I want to be a teacher, then a principle at some point. I want to go to Europe again, I want to go to Mexico and Australia. I want to have kids and a house. I want to buy my dad land. I want to be happy. I don't want to sulk over crappy stuff. I want to remember how lucky I am and just smile instead of frown. My parents presented me with so many opportunities to excel and turn myself into what I've become and I don't want to let them down. Not even just for them though, for me. All the times that they yelled at me or pushed me was because they care. Mom signing me up for Bronze Cross was a great thing, otherwise I would have never made it to being a swimming instructor - something that has given me such a sense of fulfillment.

So, instead of crying over the fact that I don't have a guy who likes me or who I can like, or sulking over the fact that a friend is mad at me, I'm just going to suck it up and study. So far life has been good, but if I don't do all the right prep work right now it might not stay that way. I'd really like it to. Afteral, fundementals are the building blocks of fun ;)