Have a little faith...

I wish I was 5 and completely oblivious to everything again. I don't like what's going on and I hate that the last 4 years have been this complete stress. Poor mom has to find a job that pays her well enough or else then we have to sell the house and she's trying really hard and I hate seeing her get this discouraged. Dad's business gets smaller and smaller and he just gets more stressed and tired looking. So of course both of them are just a little unhappy and they fight and everything is just so stressful.
Mom feels like she's completely failed the family or something, she's always apologizing for things like not having dinner planned, it's so crappy to see her this way.
I know Dad feels so bad and his stupid sense of pride just won't let him give in. He's never let me do OSAP even, I went behind his back to get my credit line. He just wants to be able to do it all but he can't, I guess he feels like he's failing. But he's totally not, I have an awesome life now and I always have. I haven't really missed out on much. I guess he's comparing my life to other people's in Oakville or what he dreamed of giving us and that makes him sad. But I appreciate everything he does and has done for me and I just want him to be able to relax.


and Mom... Mom is trying so hard to be strong and she totally carries the family. Like she never cries, I don't know how she never cries. I think if I were her I'd be crying all the time. Earlier today she just wanted to give up and sell the house and get a job at Loblaws and then she just commented on how she has to be strong and patient and I just hate this.

The there's Mike. I think of him and I just go crazy cause he's working 2 jobs right now and he's always been so stressed about money and he never says anything. I remember picking him up from work last year and taking him like anything in the house that I could give him like cans of soup and crap like that cause he couldn't afford anything. I think he's doing okay now, just busy and working late.

I don't worry so much about Sarah, maybe it's the out of sight out of mind idea. I know she's working hard and doing okay though. I'm sure she worries about all of us night and day.

Okay my little vent is over for now :P it's all out there and I can stop stressing and maybe attempt to find something to make my parents for dinner. I totally look after them, or I try to.