I'm in awe :)

I was watching Oprah yesterday - and firstly I have to admit I'm not a huge fan of Oprah herself, only the people she brings on her show;I find her a little high and mighty and condesending at times. Anyway yesterday she had Queen Rania of Jordan on her show and I'm officially awe struck by this woman. She's incredibly intelligent, she seems like an amazing mother, a wonderful role model, and to top it all off she's incredibly stunningly beautiful! I'm sure she has her flaws but that's normal and would just make her more desirable! I'm just so glad I turned on the T.V in time to see her because I officially have a new role model. If I ever had one before. I wish that there were more women like this around - she carries herself so incredibly well so even just before she speaks you're thinking 'I want to be like her.' I'm sure a young girl would feel the same, as they are often drawn and want to be like beautiful women. Hence why so many pop-stars end up being role models to small children. Unfortunately those pop-stars don't represent the same values and ideals that Queen Rania does. While they are up there on stage in thier revealing clothing singing songs about boys and sex Queen Rania is out their speaking about empowering women, injury prevention, good values, the conflict in the middle-east, just things we should all be aware of and should educate ourselves in. I'll be the first to admit that while I did attend very good schools and I am in third year university I am not as educated as I should, or would like to be. However, as of yesterday I feel I have the potential to change. "… So remember: The pages of your life belong to you. Write a story that makes you happy and proud. And someday, somewhere, a wonderful little girl will read it and say, 'I want to be just like her.'” Those are the words of Queen Rania and I guess I feel like I'm that little girl right now.

The more I think about it the more I realize I've never really had a role model. There are definitely people I look up to, but no one who's foot steps I really want to follow in. I admire my mom for many of her qualities and her values but I would like my life to take a bit of a different path. I suppose my interest in etiquitte is a direct result of my mom and I do desire to be a classy, polite lady, however that does not shape my entire being. (On a side note, someone described my mother as new money the other day and I was incredibly offended. I believe they were a little confused by the definition and then they don't know my mother anyway. Most people, including the british guy who was in the car with us describe 'new money' as a bit vulegar, lacking in class, showing off thier money, and just not being able to handle themselves very well in some situations. Wannabes perhaps? Where as 'old money' is more well bred, they don't feel the need to flaunt it, they're humble, etc. Anyway, there is NO way my mother acts in a 'new money' kind of way. My mother was bred by her very english mother and is an incredibly tactful, humble and classy. Their is a difference between a beautiful strand of pearls and a big flashy, tacky diamond ring. Anyway, that's my tangeant. Either way we have no money now so we're neither old or new money. Lol, but gosh, I'm so defensive when it comes to my family. I live in such a wealthy town and you can just tell the 'old money' from the 'new money' it's practically evident in the way people talk. Again, I'd be classified as the 'no money' :P)

So back to my lacking of a role model! I guess I've found one now. Totally lost the oomph behind me writing about her now though. Now I'm just livid thinking of my mother being described as new money. Get a clue. Lol. My mother has amazing public relation skills, she's very nice and while she does scare some of my friends it's just because she wants them to speak correctly!! My friend Laura once told me she

(below: mom and dad the day daddy converted to catholicism) gets nervous when she comes to my door because she's always running through the checklist of what you say to my mom. My mom is very adament about when someone asks you are that you do not say 'I'm good' because being good is a behavior, where as when some one asks 'How are you?" They are aquiring more about your health. I had a friend from grade 7 - 12 and she admired my mother, I could just tell. She would spend about 10 days a summer at the cottage with us and she would ALWAYS ask my moms advice on everything from parents, to boys to a good ab workout. Lol, my mom is in incredinly shape for a 57 year old! Anyway, my mother, always on about manners would tell us at the table that it's rude to announce that you're full (personally, I don't care, but my mother ...) You would have to say, if anything that you are sufficient. And, as a religious woman she would also never let us say "Oh god" and instead tell us to say "Oh Heavens!!" So one day we were tubing and both my friend and I were on the tube going on and off the wake and being terrified and holding on for dear life and my friend was yelling "Oh heavens, oh heavens!!" It was quite amusing.

I am very thankful for my mother's nagging. I have good posture now, well when I consciuosly am aware of it (which makes a huge difference on appearance), I am relatively educated on etiquitte (I do have my Emily Post book for reference though!) and feel I can handle myself very well in a gala/ball type situation. It's funny because my father, who is not the social butterfly it far more low key, I used to spend weekends at the cottage with him, usually just the two of us. And while I cannot picture my mother in a pub drinking beer, or in a basement in Keswick playing poker and chilling, I myself can enjoy it. I have the best of both worlds :). Initially I probably appear as a snob to Keswickians, but I've broken that barrier and now just have my snobby moments. But it's a part of me... there's nothing I can do about it. It's engrained in my soul.

The picture on the left is what a drunken night in Keswick might lead to :P. SPOONING!! Haha, probably not very classy :P. I can't believe in two weeks this picture will be a year old, where does the time go?? *tear* Actually.. wow, i was about to give away a big surprise. Good thing I'm not a tool. Lol. lol. Oh my god. Way too wired for a thursday morning at 9:15!!! that's what a grande, non fat, no whip mocha will do to you!

Okay, maybe it's time for breakfast now!!

One down!!

So last night we were able to cross one thing off our Summer To Do list. We went to playdium!! It was a lot of fun, I haven't been in a long time but it was wicked! I picked Dave up and then we drove there... which was interesting :P, I took a wrong turn and without D I would have been lost for good. I'm not a huge fan of Mississauga. We got there well before Tom, Sean and Ash so we entertained ourselves, hence the pictures in the car. I totally posed, didn't even think of pretending to drive. D got that down though. ... so that was fun. I was going to scare them when they got there but I really suck and couldn't pull it off, go me!

So then we went in and Ash and I went our own way and the boys went their way. Ash and I are pretty clueless when it comes to Playdium and ended up putting in 5 credits each for Dance, Dance Revolution! But that ended up being a lot of fun anyway! I would totally go back just to play that for hours and hours. It was a really good work out too. So Ash and I played, then Tom and I played and then Sean and Tom played and they defeated the game. Then we all went to Timmies for a couple of hours and just chatted.

Today I babysat!! Now, I know I'm a nerd but it was really good and I'm really excited about it! It went incredibly well. The mom and I get along really well, she's a teacher! and the kids and I got along great as well. She came home to me giving them piggy backs. She had just missed the horsie rides. Lol. Normally I'm not so active with the kids, but today was actualy pretty fun. We watched Power Rangers too!! I think this will probably be a weekly thing. And well I was gone someone else called about babysitting which brings me to a 12% response rate! Which, apparently is good. I've heard 2% is normal?? I don't know much about advertising though so I could be way off.

Anyway! So, this mom is a teacher and she asked me if I wanted to do my placement with her!!! Isn't that wicked! I was thrilled, it makes having to find a placement THAT much easier. Plus she's just really cool and nice. She even said she'd write me a fake letter... I'm not sure what she meant by that. But still, it's nice to have connections. She said the school she works at is very low-key and laid back! I'm so happy right now, I just feel like things are starting to fit. AND I actually have money coming in. I get paid tomorrow from my Subway/TCBY thing and I babysit Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday... plus whatever the women who called tonight wants. Yay! Money is coming in just in time for mothers day.

Today I had to figure out my interest payment on my creditline because apparently I'm at 'delinquint' status. AND guess what. This is pathetic. Until I put 44 cent on my credit line it will stay that way!! The girl on the phone was laughing when she told me. She came back and said "Um, you aren't going to believe this but... until you put 44 cent on your credit line you'll be in delinquint status, you have 15 days until the collection agency comes after you." Then more laughing, I was laughing too. I'll take care of it tomorrow. ;)

Okay, I'm going to rent Hoodwinked! Night :)

Well, bad news today. Mom didn't get the job she wanted. They had hired all the people before she even talked to the stupid man who invited her in. But that's okay, "unward and upwards" are Mom's words. I asked her if she was okay and she said she could curl up in a ball and cry but that wouldn't get her anywhere. Funny because that's probably what I would do, at least for an hour or so.

Grandpa... who has been a jerk regarding money, what mom needs and being there for her actually did something kind of sweet today. Mom called her parents after she got home and told them what happened, then she called her friend. She got a beep and it was grandpa asking how much a stamp was, then she went back to her friend. Then he called back again and said, "You're roof needs to be re-shingled, make the arrangements and I'll take care of it." Which is really sweet, I still don't forgive him for the creep he's been over the last little while but maybe he's changing or learning from his mistakes.

Poor mom is calling all her friends who have been so surportive and I'm sitting here listening to her tell the same sad story over and over again. It kind of hurts a bit because I know what my mom is capable of and it hurts to see her struggling so much.


I don't know how my parents got in these deep but I guess it happens before people even really realize how bad it's become. Mom just keeps her faith and says she's not meant to have this or that and that there's ultimately something else there for her.

*Big sigh*

I sat outside today for a bit, in my pretty backyard. With our porch which is falling apart and crappy. Hence the pictures, just figured I'd document it. I checked the weather and apparently it's suppose to rain for the next few days so I wanted to take some pictures and get some sunshine while I could. I'll walk to babysitting too.

I share everything so I might as well share my health issues. My ovarian cyst is acting up again and actually really bothering me. I think it might be because I stopped the pill so now I'm producing more eggs again and cysts happen when the eggs are produced... but uh ow. I hope I don't have to go back on the pill again.

I've got a babysitting thing at 4 today, I'm just meeting the kids and the mom and getting acquainted with the house. I do that with most people I sit for these days, just to make sure everything's cool. The mom called last night while I was out and I had to call her back, this is a little embarrassing, I called and someone answered and I asked if their mom was there. It was her HUSBAND. Oh god. Why do I do these things to myself!? She got on the phone laughing and said she liked me all ready though!

It's only 8 or 9 sleeps until the cottage!! I'm so excited, I haven't been since October (so bad). I don't even think I've been to the cottage for a May 2-4 in a couple of years. Last year I know I was with Landon and we went to Guelph one of the days and played scrabble with Lara and Nick the other. The year before I think my parents went up north and I just had a party, I probably did the same the year before! Life has changed a lot though and I wouldn't give up going to the cottage for anything. I wanted to post a picture but it just wouldn't work :(.

I *heart* my Logans!!!

Omg. What awesome episodes!!! I'm so happy right now... yes, I realize it's a little pathetic that t.v shows can have such an impact but seriously! Okay, so, below is Veronica and Logan having their first kiss!!! When I watch it on DVD I have to watch it twice, they are they most amazing couple ever. I have to admit when it was over I was sad... but after the season finale how could I be!! They are back doing something and SO adorible, as usual. They have the best chemistry. He loves her so much. I know it's a show but they portray this all very well and clearly. All Logan has is Veronica and they fit together so nicely. Plus he's adorable. I'm just so thrilled. Couldn't believe the season finale. Beaver you messed up little ass. Holy crap, total turn out of no where, but thank God for Logan, yet again. Below is the pic of Logan after saving Veronica for the first time. *Sigh* My hero. If I'm ever this gaga about a real life boy the world better watch out :P. But Logan, you rock my world. Okay, I'm back on planet earth now.

That is... until you get me started on Gilmore Girls!!! My predictions were right. Mwahaha. Lorelai slept with Chris. I don't think she's too happy about it though. Stupid here being hung up on Luke. Chris totally loves her (which is also apparent through his acting) and they do belong together. Luke. You're a dweeb who lost a good thing because of his idiocy. HOWEVER. My other Logan *sigh.* See below is the tied for first cutest couple in my books. (Guess who they're tied with :P).
I'm totally in love with this fictitious character too. I can't help it. He's charming and sweet and I don't care what he did while they were on a break. It's clear he loves her more than anything else. They are adorable and he clearly would have stayed if she asked him too but she's not selfish and wouldn't do that to him. My heart will break if they don't stay together. Yes, I hurt when Jess left, and I hurt when Dean and Rory fell apart. But this, I think I will bawl if it doesn't work. They are just so perfect for each other.

Perhaps I just love to live through Rory and Veronica and their Logan's because really my heart is all alone and sad that I don't have my perfect match. I mean...

Anyway, I'm just so glad Rory and Logan didn't break up despite his going to London. He had just better not do her wrong, but he won't because he loves her. I'm ecstatic that Veronica and Logan are able to be there for each other again because I think they work really well together too!! Yay for the two cutest t.v couples!!

Lol, maybe one day soon I'll have a picture of ME kissing a real guy on here!!

Hahaha.
I'm not holding my breath.
:P

Gilmore Girls Season Finale Tonight!!!

YAY! I'm so excited to find out what happens on Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars... but then I'll be sad because the show is over until October... BUT then the seasons will come out on DVD in a few months and I can watch them over and over and over again!!
Here are my predicitions for Gilmore Girls:

• Rory and Logan won't break up, even though he's going away. They love each other two much despite Logan's previous stupidity! They'll just have a tearful goodbye. *crosses fingers* He's got lots of money so he can fly back and visit. I hope... I really hope.
• Luke will still be an incredibly big loser and despite Lorelai's wishes to alope he won't and they'll be done, at least for now.
• Lorelai will go to Chris (I know that because I saw it in the preview) Something will happen between them because they belong together and they love each other so much.
  

Basically I want Rory and Logan not to break up when he goes away... if he even makes it away... and I want Luke and Lorelai to break up because Luke is being a dweeb and unless he smartens up Lorelai deserves better, aka Chris. He's laid back and down to earth like she is but he's also a bit of her parents world, which I think, in the end she needs. LOL. Okay, this has been my favorite show for 6 years, I'm a little attached. I also think next season might be the last season because well, it'll have been 7 years, I've heard rumors and once Rory is finished school I don't know where it would go.

OKay. So, Veronica Mars. I was LIVID when they annouced Aaron non-guilty. Maddie and I were holding hands and I almost started to cry. In all honesty I have NO idea what this season finale will bring. Last year there were so many twists and EVERYTHING came out in the last episode that I just don't know about this year. I hope that:

• Veronica wins the Caine scholarship
• Aaron is actually caught and gets in trouble.
• The stupid ass mayor (can't remember his name) is found and arrested for molesting the boys.
• That Logan isn't responsible for anything and he and Veronica get together again. (Far-fetched I know, but it would make me happy. I love these Logan boys!)

Who knows what will happen. Probably nothing I want, but I hope it's equally as good!!

Now that I've been completely nerdy about my shows... life is okay. NOthing huge going on right now. Volunteered at the Bingo Hall for the Crusaders today, that was interesting. Apparently Bingo is way more popular than I had thought. The prizes get really big. It must be addictive too.

Anyway I need lunch...

your smile is a curve that sets everything straight!

My title is about no one in particular but I stole it from this *hot* guy that I know. I don't necessarily think he's hot, but he thinks he's hot so I added that in. It was his msn name once. I miss having crushes and the giggles and all that crap. I was watching something on t.v and it was so cute... I wonder if I'll ever have a first date again. It feels like it's too late, I have no idea why. Kissing barely means anything anymore. I guess that's my fault because I'm a bit of a kissing slut. I've kissed too many people and now it's lot all meaning. What have I done?! At least I'm not a slut slut - then that would be bad.

It was so nice way back when. I was thinking about Jon the other day, don't ask why, it's been like what 4 years since I spent any time with him, but I was. One time we went to this thing in Bracebridge called Riverfest and we just went into a near by forest and made out... we were 15 and dating. That's all we ever did, afteral, that's all 'dating' was about back then. We'd go to a movie and sit in the back, just to make out. He'd come over and we'd find somewhere to sit and make out. I'd go to his house and we'd sit and make out. We even made out in the back of a Church once. Seriously, I don't know what we knew about each other, just that we'd make out. He was my summer time boyfriend. We dated for three summers. I remember one summer I came back and his aunt, his adorable cousins and I went to the beach. He was swimming with the kids and his aunt just kept telling me how much he missed me over the year and how much he talked about me. Then he and I made out in the woods again. We did a lot of that. Our spot was in the middle of this forest type meadow area. Now there are condos there and he's a tattoo artist. Hmm. Better than the fresh out of jail, soon to be dad, tattoo covered guy though. Haha, we won't get into that though! It never happened. Or hmm. Then there's the guy who lived in a box. Oh the experiences.

I remember thinking I was so in love with this guy, ugh, I was such a lost teenager. He practically had me convinced to run away with him and get married as soon as I turned 16. Gee. Thanks Mom and Dad for giving me all those rules and restrictions, who knows where I might be now. I could have a four year old kid. Wow. And to find out later he cheated on me with some chick named after a type of cheese?! Haha, oh god. At least I can laugh about it now. Just like I laugh about box boy... after the shudders.

I wish I had kept a better journal when I dated Tom, he was so funny. He still is so funny but he really cracked me up then. Relatively recently Tom informed me he never loved me, it was a relief. I had been worried he had and didn't know what to do with myself. *Sense the sarcasm* I was trying to think of a funny story to tell about Tom but I really couldn't... all of them sounded dull written out. People would have read it and thought I was a tool for bothering to write it out.

Hahaha and on that note...