your smile is a curve that sets everything straight!

My title is about no one in particular but I stole it from this *hot* guy that I know. I don't necessarily think he's hot, but he thinks he's hot so I added that in. It was his msn name once. I miss having crushes and the giggles and all that crap. I was watching something on t.v and it was so cute... I wonder if I'll ever have a first date again. It feels like it's too late, I have no idea why. Kissing barely means anything anymore. I guess that's my fault because I'm a bit of a kissing slut. I've kissed too many people and now it's lot all meaning. What have I done?! At least I'm not a slut slut - then that would be bad.

It was so nice way back when. I was thinking about Jon the other day, don't ask why, it's been like what 4 years since I spent any time with him, but I was. One time we went to this thing in Bracebridge called Riverfest and we just went into a near by forest and made out... we were 15 and dating. That's all we ever did, afteral, that's all 'dating' was about back then. We'd go to a movie and sit in the back, just to make out. He'd come over and we'd find somewhere to sit and make out. I'd go to his house and we'd sit and make out. We even made out in the back of a Church once. Seriously, I don't know what we knew about each other, just that we'd make out. He was my summer time boyfriend. We dated for three summers. I remember one summer I came back and his aunt, his adorable cousins and I went to the beach. He was swimming with the kids and his aunt just kept telling me how much he missed me over the year and how much he talked about me. Then he and I made out in the woods again. We did a lot of that. Our spot was in the middle of this forest type meadow area. Now there are condos there and he's a tattoo artist. Hmm. Better than the fresh out of jail, soon to be dad, tattoo covered guy though. Haha, we won't get into that though! It never happened. Or hmm. Then there's the guy who lived in a box. Oh the experiences.

I remember thinking I was so in love with this guy, ugh, I was such a lost teenager. He practically had me convinced to run away with him and get married as soon as I turned 16. Gee. Thanks Mom and Dad for giving me all those rules and restrictions, who knows where I might be now. I could have a four year old kid. Wow. And to find out later he cheated on me with some chick named after a type of cheese?! Haha, oh god. At least I can laugh about it now. Just like I laugh about box boy... after the shudders.

I wish I had kept a better journal when I dated Tom, he was so funny. He still is so funny but he really cracked me up then. Relatively recently Tom informed me he never loved me, it was a relief. I had been worried he had and didn't know what to do with myself. *Sense the sarcasm* I was trying to think of a funny story to tell about Tom but I really couldn't... all of them sounded dull written out. People would have read it and thought I was a tool for bothering to write it out.

Hahaha and on that note...