And so it is

So, high speed at the cottage now... yay!!! So weird to just be able to check my e-mail without the hassle!!
So, loads on my mind as I look at my facebook and see that everyone is graduating and showing pictures of them in their robes with their proud parents just beaming. I just can't help but think what went wrong. I know that I will get to that point eventually, I just don't understand why it didn't work out for me as it should have. If everything had gone according to plan in September I would be starting teacher's college and be a teacher by next spring... and with my references and connections and experience probably have some sort of job by the fall. I just don't understand what went wrong. Everything happens for a reason, right? Am I waiting for something else for now? Or am I just still figuring myself out? I've never been the type to put education above anything else so its obvious why I'm in this boat. I know that I'll get there though, just in my time and at my speed.

I miss my boyfriend (Weird, normally I'd just say baby, but that felt wierd to type) so much. I dunno how but he has the ability to calm me down SO much. Today at work was just ugh. Plain ugh. I'm really frustrated with everything these days and when I'm tired it just all comes out in tears. Mom looked at me today and said she's never seen me look so exhausted... well hello... it's not easy work exactly, when you have to be pleasant, deal with stupid stressors, and be on your feet all day. Anyway, back to my baby, he just can calm me down so easily. He's so sweet and makes me smile just because of the way he says I love you and then says he doesn't like it when I cry. LOL, funny how that actually kind of does fix things a little bit.