Damnit.

I wrote this great post and then it all went away. SO frustrating. It was really neat because I was really upset and the beginnign of it and then as I calmed down I stopped being a brat and started to look at the other side of things.

Basically three weeks ago I was going to drop out of Trent and my program because I was sick of dealing with Peterborough. Instead Linds and I came up with the solution of me getting my a general degree rather than an honors. Then I wouldn't have to make up the courses I've dropped and I would still be able to go to Queen's. Well. Apparently my parentals cannot handle this.

Dad came home today and pretty much told me I couldn't say no. I had a hissy fit. I only ever have two months where I can possibly live at home and I really enjoy those months. I like to be able to catch up with my friends and be close to them for once. We don't even have the money to pay off the tuition we still owe from this year, how on earth are we suppose to pay for summer courses?! Um, not happening. Well. Daddy dearest thinks I'm using that as an excuse and then of course in my mothers eyes it's dad's fault that I'm doing this - so I'm pretty sure he's desperately trying to make it not appear that way.

He said if I don't get an honors I'm going to be failing on some level and pulling a "Bennett" - whatever that means. He said he's proud of me and he loves me and he doesn't want to see me do this. At that point I started crying, mostly because of frustrating and a bit because I felt incredibly disappointed in myself.

So I started thinking... Dad does pay for my education and my way through my education. Is it really fair of me to not let him have some say in what I do? Yes I am an adult but I rely on him like a child. Afteral, he only has my best interests at heart. I mean taking a credit or two in May/June wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I've heard summer courses are more relaxed and if anything it would at least broaden my horizons a little.

Linds would also be happy to have me there and we could clean up the yard and the patio like we've day dreamed :P.

Well.. I've looked into it. Let's just say I'm not writing it off yet.

I do really want to come home though. But I guess we don't always get what we want.

Alright, I can think this through... I'm not a failure I know that much.

I could take Spanish - that would be cool.

I just added up the costs so I'll go back to him with that and then see how he feels :P.

You know, all in all I am glad I've had parents who have pushed me because in the end I think no matter how frustrated I am it will all have been for the best.