I've figured it out!

I think I know why girls don't screw up very much. It's because guys make them feel like SHIT when they do, plus they make themselves feel like shit when they do. I messed up yesterday and Landon was so mad and wasn't really hurtful or anything but today I'm still upset about it. It put a damper in our relationship, I'm sure it'll be gone in a few days - but for now it hurts. It's just back to that pain I was feeling all December and it hurts so much my heart actually aches. I mean if guys felt this way every time they screwed up they wouldn't do it so much - I mean I personally know I don't want to feel this way often. I feel horrible! So I ordered something from LaSenza to make up for it! Sex seems to be the way to go. Unfortunetly I don't get to see him until Easter weekend. It's just really bad time for me to do this because after we got over the fight I just wanted to see him, I still have 9 sleeps. Plus, the poor thing worked 16 hours today so he's going to be wiped when he gets home so I don't get to talk to him until Wednesday night - ahh. I'm way to dependent on him - definately need to work on that!
It's really good for us not to see each other because we really do need to establish our seperate lives. I'm actually staying in Peterborough this weekend and going out with the girls for St. Patty's day! Kind of exciting actually, we'll see what happens. My roomie is leaving yet again so that kind of sucks. I get lonely/depressed when I'm here by myself and it's really not a good combo. I need to work on it!!
I've got a paper due tomorrow I haven't really started, I just keep putting it off. Now it's due in less than 24 hours and I'm going to have to get it done.
God, I want this horrible feeling to be gone - I'm sure in a few days I'll feel tons better - well, maybe not tons better until I get to see him and get a big hug! I don't know if girls have this weird complex where things become the end of the world, but that's how I feel. It seems stupid, but I dunno. I guess because I rarely screw up like this it feels a lot worse than it is. I've always forgiven him for his fuck ups so I'm sure it's okay!! Ahhh somebody make it go away. I'm so terrified he's not going to want me anymore. Think it's time for a Lara call - she knows Landon pretty well and is good at boosting me up about him. Maybe if I do an hours work first...
I think I'm going to devote time on Sunday to my scrap book - saturday I'm going to load up on things for it and then make it even better. It's got to be my favorite thing ever!
We got the house we wanted. It's 5 bedrooms for the 4 of us, with a rec room and a living room - so TONS of space. My room is a soft yellow and I love it! It's going to be Linds, Jen, T.J and I. I've never met T.J but apparently he's coming up this week so I'll finally get to meet him. We're so excited for moving in - I just can't wait!!
I've also figured out Landon's b-day present. It's going to cost like 300$ so I have yet to figure that part out exactly! But it's a really nice gift and I'm going to get it for a deal through Lindsay so hopefully that won't be too bad. His b-day is two months away, but I'm so excited for it. Linds can look it up and see if it goes on sale, then get it on sale for me because she works at Canadian Tire. That'll save me a bit - which is part of the reason I'm thinking about it so early- this way we can find out for sure- very key. :)
I'm feeling a bit better now, things are looking up - people make mistakes we're human.